I was raised Southern Baptist, attended a private Christian school during the later part of my elementary years and most of my junior high and high school years. I became a gnostic atheist while attending Christian school. Science became my god and I reasoned G-d right out of existence. Found myself in atheist mecca in college with a Dean who said “As we become more educated, we tend to become less religious” I spent about 9-years trying to reason with those who claimed to believe in G-d, having believed that they were suffering from some sort of mass psychosis or needed something bigger than themselves as an emotional crutch for their flawed little minds. Yep, I was pretty arrogant and very blasphemous as an atheist. I did not have any regard whatsoever for G-d or His holiness.
In 1995, I said something really stupid…another blasphemous and sarcastic statement “If there is a god of any kind out there, he will have to come down here and prove to me that he exists.” Well, He did come down and He showed me quite a few things about where He had been through out my life. I’ve never felt the joy like I felt when I stood in the level of presence that I felt at that point in time.
My relationship with Him has been growing ever since. G-d’s been teaching me that He has both a serious and a fun side. When we first experience a Metanoia (greek) Repentance, we literally undergo a transformation within. Our minds begin to work differently. Let’s say, you lived life as Bill Gates and had billions of dollars at your disposal and that’s all you ever knew how to live. Then one day, the stock market crashed and you found yourself totally broke and homeless. Obviously, you’d begin to rethink how you do things and what you value. You’d be selling your rolex in exchange for a cheeseburger from Mc’D’s…because what you value has suddenly changed. This is what happens when we have a salvation experience. The things we used to find pleasure in begin to fade away and the Lord reveals things to us that will truly sustain our joy even during the times that we stand in the midst of extreme opposition from the enemy.
VRSpock has been my online identity for many years. I was ^MrSpock^ on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) long before the Internet had web pages (or host names for that matter) or was accessible by anyone outside of the military or academia. I was also known as Spock on CompuServe in high school in the late 1980’s back in the days of bitnet, WWIVnet and various other computer networks.
I was a frequent visitor on www.worthychat.com and many people who were on Worthy Chat many years ago know who I am. I started digging more into His Word during this time of my life. I was dragged by a Pastoral friend to a teaching by Dutch Sheets called Becoming Who You Are. It was just before this time that I uttered my first Greek word, not knowing what it meant in the car one day. That evening I went to the Dutch Sheets class and that same word was spoken by Dutch Sheets himself in the lesson, Metanoia which is Greek for repent. That experience peaked my interest in the Greek and Hebrew languages that made up the bible. So I bought myself a New King James Version Greek-Hebrew Strongs Keyword study bible and began digging in.
As I dug in, I started befriending people on Worthy Chat, one of which, was an orthodox Jew yet they believed that Jesus was the Messiah….so they weren’t entirely orthodox….but orthodox enough to leave the computer on Friday nights so that they could chat online during Sabbath…lol It was through them and their perspectives on various scriptures that I was finally able to reconcile what I knew to be true straight from G-d’s own mouth with what I understood from reading scripture. From that point on, I was no longer an atheist, agnostic or Christian….I was Messianic.
I ended up marrying another Worthy Chat frequent visitor who’s screen name was SingleMom. Her name was Jenny Dickey. She too had an experience with the Lord not too long before we met….together we both grew mightily in the Lord and were very happily married.
Jenny and I were married for about 9 years before she suddenly passed away from a very aggressive and rare form of cancer, Large Cell Nueroendocrine Carcinoma of the Cervix. We went from finding, what was thought to be benign, a cyst in an ultrasound to her dying in the Vanderbilt Outpaitent room in just under three weeks time, leaving behind myself and my step son Matthaeu aka Matityahu in Hebrew meaning gift from G-d, her biological son, who was 4 when we first married and was 13 at this point in time.
I ended up obtaining full custody of Matt and together we have been on a journey of grieving, surviving and healing since her death on August 19th, 2013.
G-d’s calling on my life has been to teach and to be a watchman over His truth. I have known this for a long time, but have been resistant to fulfilling my calling. It wasn’t until I started getting repeated and consistent confirmation on what I already knew that I chose to push forward and create this blog. We are to stay in the light (knowledge) and be a light for those who are in the darkness (lack of knowledge). Knowledge is a very important part of knowing Jesus as our Lord and Savior, both heart knowledge and head knowledge. Head knowledge doesn’t do us any good if we lack the heart knowledge to actually do what we know we should do.