Here is something ironic. I got very close to the Father over the past few weeks as I began wondering how close my appointed time to depart this earth might actually be. I came to the point where I trusted in Him as countless people prayed for me and I made the choice that I was going to be OK no matter what the report on my health said. I am at peace with whatever the Lord plans to do with me. You would have to understand my sudden and unexpected loss of my most beloved wife back in August of 2013 and where we were at in our relationship with the Lord, to know how much deep has been calling out to deep during this season of my life.
I got a good report on my test the other week. I am cancer free and everything that has been going on is due to the H Pylori infection I had that we fought off with more antibiotics than any human being should take at one time.
Even after all that though, I have managed to struggle in one key area of my life, something that has been a struggle off an on during nearly my entire lifetime, with the exception of my season with Jenny, my late wife. That demon raised its ugly head again enough that I went to someone I can be held accountable to, for a second time in this season of my life, and fully disclosed to them the nature of my struggle. There are only a few close friends who are aware of what that struggle is. I don’t struggle often, but when I do, it is an enormous force to be reckoned with and one powerful enough to make me seek others who will stand with me in agreement against the enemy….to break every chain that tries to hold me down and bind me up.
The enemy always seems to know our weakest most vulnerable spot and tries to exploit it to his advantage, causing us to question our own walk at times. I guess that’s a good thing because if we don’t question ourselves from time to time we can get caught up in what we are doing to the point that we neglect to keep ourselves in check….failing to inspect the deepest corners of our own house until we awaken to realize there are cob webs hanging in dimly lit corners of one of the rooms in our mind/heart.
Having confessed my struggle to someone I trust, I got objective yet encouraging feedback. The enemy’s attempt to distort my self reflection gets thwarted. The funny thing is I text this person the other morning. According to my phone, the text went through. They never received the message. Later in the day I finally got around to asking them if they got my message and we both discovered an interesting anomaly….a text that just kind of vanishes into nowhere, never received…with no explanation as to why or how. Obviously the enemy did not want anyone agreeing with me in prayer against them. I guess the enemy didn’t care for all the agreement that came against him concerning my health either.
I take refuge under the wing of my Father in heaven, having been hidden in the secret place of our Most High, El Shaddah.
Confession is a mandate of the Lord. In the Celebrate Recovery ministry I help out in with the media, this is known as Step 5 of the recovery/healing process that everyone must go through at some point if they are to be truly healed.
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being (who we can trust) the exact nature of our wrongs. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16) Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to someone I trust. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see G-d.” (Matthew 5:8).
Confession is key to your spiritual survival, you are not alone. It doesn’t have to be in a recovery group like this one, but it helps to assemble yourself with others who you can build a relationship with, whether it be church family, a CR group or a combination of both. Everyone has a struggle or two in their own lives…and everyone needs others in their lives in order to comply with the Lord’s commandments in order for us to carry out our daily walk in Christ and not end up isolated and subject to the whims of the enemy in our weaknesses.