If I was running for President, the smear campaign against me could make me out to be the Anti-Christ himself. Not only did I speak against G-d, I acted out against G-d.
First, they would find that I was a Gnostic Atheist for nine years of my life. I very publicly denounced G-d the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in high school, at a Christian school no less. They would find that I began to persistently debate my Christian, Creationist believing teachers. I mocked several of the Southern Baptist doctrinal views of the time. That I made many claims of blatant contradictions in scripture. They would find that I also debated my principal about the existence of G-d. I had a bible, a KJV bible, that I defaced and mutilated like the fairy-tale book that I believed it was.
There was youth pastor that wept heavily as I blatantly and boldly declared my disbelief of both the bible and the existence of G-d to him. I transferred from the Christian to a public school and proceeded on to college where I would continue to bash Christians over the head with my logic and superior intellect. I considered ALL who believed in any kind of deity whatsoever to be suffering from a form of mass psychosis….yes, I believed that of Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Satanists, even agnostics…I had them all lumped into one group…the religious nuts.
I also cussed in college….dropping the F-bomb and even creating all new swear words like G F’ing D it all to hell, Jesus F’ing Christ. I listened to music such as Nine Inch Nails, Type-O-Negative, Marilyn Manson, White Zombie, Depeche Mode. I would blast Nine Inch Nails song Heresy through my car stereo speakers.
“He sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see
He tries to tell me what I put inside of me
He’s got the answers to ease my curiosity
He dreamed a god up and called it Christianity
Your god is dead and no one cares
If there is a hell I’ll see you there
He flexed his muscles to keep his flock of sheep in line
He made a virus that would kill off all the swine
His perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain
Demands devotion atrocities done in his name
Your god is dead and no one cares
Yes, if I was running for President, they could paint a very negative picture of me based on my past words and actions.
Thank G-d I am forgiven. The Lord spoke to me very early on, you see I had a Paul to Saul experience with the Lord. No person led me down Roman’s road. No Pastor, no church, no mortal person took my hand and prayed with me the sinner’s prayer, which isn’t even in the bible, by the way. It took a direct interaction from G-d Himself to turn me around. Then it took another six years or so for me to come to terms with what I once believed about the bible itself, that it was written by a Catholic monk in the middle ages, in a dark dungeon by candlelight in very bad English and was completely made up for the sole purpose of controlling the masses. I had to dissect the bible and learn more about its origins than anyone without going to seminary school. I can tell you all about the different translations and how they came about. I can tell you how the canon bible itself came to be, that it was originally written in three different languages, Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek. That some of the English translations are translated from the Greek Septuagint, which is the version Jesus read in the temple, and some were translated from the Masoretic text. I can tell you that the KJV had three revisions, not including the Revised KJV translation and that I have seen a copy of a page of the very original KJV…I just about couldn’t read the page…some words were completely unrecognizable. I will have to see if I can get a copy of that at some point to show what I am talking about.
Anyhow, the Lord said to me that I am not more powerful than He is. That no matter what I did as an atheist, being the omnipresent all-knowing G-d that He is, He could go right behind me and correct anything that He needed to. I’ve brought this part of my life up a couple of times now. First at a Celebrate Recovery Step Study and now here in this article. No, it hasn’t been something that has been bothering me….but there are seasons of time when it is necessary to bring up this season of my life, as a testimonial. Now, I can debate any atheist, having been one of the most stubborn and arrogant of all atheists.