self control – the false perception that we are in control

This past summer, I got to go kayaking for the very first time in the cove of a local lake.  A close friend of mine had the idea of going kayaking.  She had done it before so was slightly more experienced at it than I was.  I had always wanted to do that, but never had the opportunity until this moment in time.  I had a little, but expected, struggle getting into the plastic boat.  Going from solid ground into something that is floating is always a challenge for someone of my stature.  Anyhow, I got in the boat and began following her out onto the lake.  It was both fun and a test of my sense of self control all at the same time.  I wasn’t really afraid but was a bit nervous being in a tiny plastic boat in open water with very limited control.  Did I mention that I don’t know how to swim?  I was going to go out there with no life jacket on, but one of the friends whose house we were at managed to find a life jacket I could wear.

I was able to relax and enjoy the moment, but in the back of my mind, there was that slight elevation of nerves because I was stepping outside of my comfort zone.  You see, I have self control issues.  That’s where you want at least have a sense of self control.  I struggle with anything to do with me when it seems like I am not in control of myself.  That can become an issue in certain situations where losing control is the end game.  Because of this struggle, I never did drugs or alcohol as a kid.  I always want a sense of self control over my personal finances, over my healthcare, etc.  I have even lied to a doctor before just because I wanted to be in control of what was done to me.  I have repented of that and confessed my sins to my doctor….the symptoms I lied about could have been very strong signs of a very serious condition, but I was willing to take that risk and lie by saying I didn’t have those symptoms rather than release control over to my doctor.

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We have to release our sense of control over to Jesus, our Lord and Savior, in every area of our lives.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  And its only a sense of control because in reality, we are standing on the surface of a planet that is spinning around at 1,040 mph, orbiting a sun at 70,000 mph.  That same sun is orbiting the center of our galaxy at a speed of 514,000 mph.  We think we are standing still.  That’s not even taking into consideration the tectonic plates of the earth’s crust and how they shift about on the surface.   We have the false perception that we are somehow in control.  The Lord says otherwise in scripture and nature proves it to us.  We are not in control, G-d is.

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Fred Dickey

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